I hate going back to work tomorrow. I really can't wait for the holiday break. It will be long this year and inasmuch as I want to go someplace else, I'd probably be stuck here in the city since I'm broke and I will have to get some paper work done so that I won't be harassed next year. I'll be arranging our annual planning conference also so that will take a lot of planning as well. I hope it will be some place away from the city.
I think I have lost my creativity due to lack of practice. Except for videos that I've done for the office and some friends, I haven't really created something different this year. Grrrr! I am losing it and I hate that. But I did some decorating in my new room so that's different.... it looks different with all the greens. That doesn't count as it was something I did out of compulsion and not out of inspiration or motivation ek ek. I haven't done anything to satisfy me lately and I'm pissed.
Aaaahhh!! I need a diversion! I haven't found anything challenging to do! The
stuff I've been doing are things that are just expected of me to accomplish and it doesn't interest me at all - well, not anymore as it's not new and the worst thing is it's taking a lot of my time. So please God, help me get out of this regularity that is making me so crazy!!!Another thing that bugs me is that we haven't been given our raise yet, the possibility of additional bonus is remote though this week will be the deciding week for the future of our holiday pleasures. No increase, no bonus, no step increment...this makes it more dispiriting to work for the government and right now, I really hate it.
So what else, what else... I have nothing more to write about unless it'll be about West Wing again. I just love the characters in the series and though they're not real, the way they portray ideal roles of people who work for the government is just amazing. I wonder if that's how it really is working in the White House... Makes me wish that we have that same passion in serving the government as well. I wonder if people like that really exist - maybe not here in the country so we'll just have to dream on and wish our leaders, our government officials, their staff will be what we hope them to be. Yeah right! That they will just stop being so greedy!!!
Aaaaaahh! I can just scream in my head and hope to be relieved, then maybe I'd probably get a grip of my sanity back. Today is the first day of December and time flies so fast indeed. Please just make this Christmas a happy one for us all despite...
